*its gonna be a long one*
everthing is not ok. why am i so mess up. im not going anywhere. im still stuck in this emotional confusing situasion ive been in since forever. im never good enough for anyone. for anything. i dont know why i dont excel in anything i do when ive tried my very very best. ever felt something so annoying in your life. cant get people to be proud of you. im feeling that right now. ive never made anyone proud of me :/ there's alot going thru my life right now. i feel so invisible. why no one,notice that im here. why everyone acts like as if i dont exist. sometimes i compare myself to other. why am i so unlucky. i wanna feel that i did something in life. im not feeling it right now. im not good in studies. nor am i good in life. daily stuff. i hate the fact that you ignored me for so long,then you start talking to me like nothing happened. and by saying the simplest thing,you made me smile. ive never really hated something so much but now i hate my life so so so much. like im not doing anything excellent in my life at this point in time. i feel like im such a burden. why am i such a burden to my parents. ive always got tricked by people so much that im used to it. i dont even know how it feels to not feel the pain in your heart. im used to it. im used to people,fooling me around. im used to be the worst student in class. im used to,people looking down on me. when can anyone come up to me and say,"hey girl you really do me proud. you've really got on your feet." sometimes i wonder what will happen if one day i went missing,would anyone care. i wanna see how they react. when i truly care for someone,they'll take me for granted. its ok,you're in love. with someone else :/ i miss the way my life were before,all organised. now,its just different. i feel the room getting smaller,closing in on me. the walls slowly suffocating me. this is slowly killing me,why cant anyone see that. and why wont anyone help me tear them down. fuck this life,im going thru right now.
when lifes knock you down,i will not stay on the ground?
