Labels: what am i suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
Monday, May 24, 2010
Hey hey hey. i am bored. so bored. exam's over,oh yes. results,oh no. currently at iqyn's house. she's sleeping,yup what else right? haha. its ok. today is fun. Math class,free period. Miss Gan didnt attend class just now. English free period. Cme not by Mr Chew. Homec watch vid. Science first period go thru exam scripts,the remaining 2 periods is free period. waah,fun like hell la i tell you. today had alot alot,alot of free period so we talked alot too. hehe. talked about everything. but the only thing i could remember is,we talked about afterlife. scary,i know. i had alot of questions but unfortunately no one knows the answer to it. pfft. like only god knows whats gonna happen next. after school sit down with khairel iqyn haqim at the courtyard. and guess what we talked bout afterlife also. haissh. whats wrong with us today,everything afterlife afterlife. i want you to be happy even if its not with me. yeaa,totally diff thing. haha. yes it is hard for me to let go of everything. not that we started a thaaaang. pfft. but i think my feeling's for you is huge. what makes you happy,that makes me happy too. so even if its not me. its ok,i'll try to work on my part. and you'll work on your part. deal? i just wanna see you happy. that is all. there never was anyone else. i only wanted you. ive learnt that poeple will fforget what you said. people will forget what you did. but people will never forget how you made them feel. i never forget how you made me feel wanted. unlike now. sometimes you jjust have to try not to care s no matter how much you do. cause sometimes you mean nothing to someone who means everything to you. no one can ever promise you that they will never leave you because at one point in time it will happen. its just a matter oof time. ive learnt it from experince. i thought you were someone special but you turn out to be just like other guys. promise and let me down over and over and over again. maybe because im just too numb.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
i miss being important. i miss being the one who wakes you up 3 in the morning just because i needed someone to listen to my stories. i miss being loved. its easy when you're not in my shoes. but its not when you're the one experiencing it yourself. i miss what we call 'love'.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
You're an awesome person.
Happy Happy Birthday.
you make me,who i am today.
i ♥ you. always have. always will.
Monday, May 10, 2010
i need this space,just like you need it.
i cant wait to hate you.
but why.
why is it so hard to let go.
for a minute there i lost myself.
i dont know what to do.
blank.
i wish i could press reset.
doesnt mean there arent days when
it all just come rushing back.
i cant wait to hate you,
cause right now i need you so bad.
and i just keep having one last thing to say.
i just dont know how to spit it all out.
and i just wanna hold you,touch you.
but i also feel like killing you.
why is this so hard.
everything is so hard.
i never wanted this.
i never asked for this.
but why i have to face it.
i thought we had something special.
you gave me false hope.
maybe its just me.
maybe its just that i hope too much.
but i really felt that feeling inside.
whats all this.
is that 'feelings'.
but why do 'feelings' lie.
'feelings' dont lie.
i gotta take a lilttle time.
time to think it all over.
love's killing me.
i dont know if i can face it again.
i laugh to keep myself from crying,like almost all the time.
you came to me like a dream.
dream's fairytales?
you're fairytales too then.
there comes a point where i just have to
stop trying because it hurts too much to pretend anymore.
ive been faking it all this while.
i know ive convince people that well.. all this is a piece of shit.
but no i lied.
im still working vking hard to let go.
help me please.
i can hear you when you whisper.
but you cant even hear me screaming.
you mean so much to me.
im currently in this long and confusing process
of figuring out who i am and what
i want to do in my life.
to still care bout someone,
who never cared for you.
that is the most foolish thing.
but what can i do.
i hate you,and then i love you.
its like i wanna throw you off a cliff and rush
to the bottom to catch you.
argh,cb.
i am tired of everything.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Im sorry if im not the best girl you can get. im sorry im being such a naughty girl all this while. im sorry for all that things you have to sacrifies for me. im sorry i make you nag day and night. sometimes i wonder what would happen if you stop nagging if you stop guiding me in life. i think i wouldnt be able to live life happily like now. i know im not perfect as a daughter. but i ♥ you alot. thanks for everything. you've been very patience with me. thanks for being there whenever i needed someone. thanks for taking care of me. even tho i know im not easy to be taken care of. i admit sometimes i get really harsh on you,i know im wrong. im so sorry. you're the best mom ever. you try so hard to stop me from mixing/doing things that might get myself in trouble but sometimes i simply just dont listen. you taught me how to appr life. you taught me to be who i am today. i Thank you for that. im not the type of daughter that says i ♥ you every now and then but that doesnt mean i dont. i do,♥ you mom. nothing can describe how much i ♥ you. i may not be the best daughter but i swear i appr all the things you've done for me. even tho sometimes i get piss off and i show you that attitude,deep inside i still ♥ you. i mean i wont be here if its not cause of you right. ibu selalu sabar if it comes to me. like ibu always take the blame just to protect me. im glad i have you,mom. tidak ade insan lain yang dapat menggantikan tempatmu,ibu. orang selalu tengkeng2 kat ibu. orang slalu jahat kat ibu. orang minta maaf banyakbanyak. sorry orang tkde duit nak belikan ibu ape2. hehe. i buatkan ibu card tu. and i hope you like it la eh ibu :D
Thursday, May 6, 2010
since i dont have money to buy you presents. naah look at this,my little present. cute kan this picture. if only that exist eh. maybe i'll buy it for you someday. tapi too bad,tkde kat spore. you're awesome. you're very sweet. very kind. very pretty. very i-want-to-slap-you also. hehe. you're a nice girl,too bad some people dont realise that. but be happy cause i ♥ you alot. you never fail to make me smile. never fail to make me laugh. you find every way to make me feel wanted. i thank you for all that. i hope all your wishes come true aliyah. and sorry,i tend to buatkan name2 mrepek untok kau. hehe. really sorry. its fun. ok err if i were to list down all the good things in you. it would take forever. basicly whenever you need me,im here. always here. dont forget i always will ♥ you my Nuraliyah Intan Emyriah Sumprano.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
God.
Im being so rude to my mother.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
was so pissed off. fed up. this dont feel like home anymore. thefck. everyone here's quarelling. argh,mangsa keadaan betol la aku ni. for once family,settle down. god. whats wrong. everything is. people say life's fun/happy or whatever. prove,please? to problems,screw you m.f okay stfu AmiraJ. tomorro having math mock exam. but yet i still feel like shit-.- had counseling after like what 1 months 2 months? it was ok. started off positive but then later during the counseling i told him what i should've long ago. i cant take it any longer. even tho he might think that yaa that about it. but no there's more to it. he told me im having a hard time,yes. he said how bad this situation im having right here,right into my face. and yes thats it Mr Zaini. he's right,he can read my mind. -.0 And thanks my darling Jaja. you're just a phone call away,i know. thanks alot girl. i wont hesitated to call you when im down,dont worry. ok back to mock exam. TOMORRO. lalala cb. im done. studying for tomorro. bye.
Monday, May 3, 2010
heyheyhey. yesterday night had very2 hot fever. i dont know why suddenly it hits me. haissh. but alhamdullilah,im better now. not having fever anymore. eldest bro took care of me the whole night yesterday. he tekap2 my head,body with freezing cold water. and now im no longer burning inside. terime kasih many2 abang :D still having headache but at least now its better than yesterday. i was shivering all night. i was so cold but inside me im so burning hot. get it? haha. lol. whatever,its good that i feel better now. so i can go school tomorro! Yeaaah. exams coming real soon,dont forget AmiraJ. must take good care of yourself. i was sick the previous week also. haissh,chippps. today went out with family despite my condition -.-" masai lilkid!!! i wanna know how it goes :D lol,ok da shhh. hmm one thing. 'Is it really that hard to let go of someone? Or is it just really hard because you still hope there's a chance.' hmm think bout it. when i ask you,you cant let him go. and then i asked you why. you said you're not sure. is this one of your reasons? then why show me that attitude,like as if you over and done with all this. but still you wished there's hope-.-" tired of you. da la,try my best not to talk bout you. ok done. listening to only exception,and tomorro no math. jezzzz. a good thing and a bad thing. lol. saw this one guy at downtown just now with my family. pakai supra or whatever ah,then give me that look. like as if i care only la,he pakai supra ke saprok ke ape2 ke. baru supra brother,bukan nike,bukan globe bukan ape2 ah. tkmu act ah-.-" so the tak kuase. he gimme that look then i walk off. whatever la brother -.-" m.f who you think you are. cant be bothered. raye 09's picture. ok bye. wanna eat and watch avatar and sleep. mehehe. Sunday, May 2, 2010
im so happy for you girl. you deserve it. i told you,you rock. you refused to believe. so here's the proof :-_) you've gone thru alot,alot i repeat. and now you need not suffer anymore. i told you,god wont give you anything you cant handle. so keep on believing. you're doing great. its time for a change? ;-) you're awesome,go easy on yourself. i'll be here whenever you need me aite masai lilkid. kau memang mrepek + more mrepek + masai + everything else,but you're still my friend. there's no reason not to love you. no wonder,he's obsessed with you. kan. *wink* be happy for once,im tired of crying with you. so no more crying ok. lets live life to the fullest. you deserve this,screw what people say. sometimes,someone says something so small and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart,kan? dont you think thats love? :D