another awesome soul

yes its my second post of the day. ive got alot,alot,to say. so bear with me for a moment aite. i feel like killing myself. im such a pain in the ass. i dont know why but im starting to like him even more. i know its wrong. (isit?) but you dont seem to care,at all. i love you yes i do but i cant help it. please come back. take me with you. so i wont fall for him deeper. and if i wont fall for him,that means i wont betray you. i dont want to betray you. i dont wanna dissapoint you. i miss you. i dont wanna leave you. but im starting to have that feelings for him. come back. its all my fault. i dont want to hurt you despite how much you've hurt me. i know you didnt mean to (i hope so) argggh. what am i up to now. i cant be liking someone else when im still with you,can i. i swear,its gonna be easier when you're here with me. i need you. i dont want you to act all strangerly infront of me. i want you. the one,who never ignores. the one who cares. please know that whatever happens to us,i will always love you. you will always be my number one. people see me as that cheerful-full of nonsence girl. seems happy everytime. but no one knows,how i suffered. how much pain ive been facing. ive been searching for answers. i wanna know who am i to you. what are we. whats all this. if you're just fooling with my feelings,for the 1000000001th times. if you think i am one kind of a loser. if all this means nothing to you. if you know,that i truthfully love you with all my heart. and if your attitude would change when you know all of this/when you know how precious you are in my life. would it change how you treat me,boy. i'll always be right beside you,even if you doesnt know it at all.