the hero you've always been.
i dont know what 'it' is but,you wont know when its gonna come and when its gonna go. no one can predict anything. so before anything happens you should start doing whatever things you want to before its too late. you dont want to end up regreting anything. like i did. there're so many people out there who will tell you that you cant but,what you've got to say is 'watch me' ,ayah. you never ever put a finger on me. never ever raise your voice at me. you never ever fail to encourage me to go on whenever i feel weak in my knees. you've always says you love me,indirectly. i know that. just that im too blinded by all the things around me that i neglected you. i should have spent more time with you. argh,its all my fault. i know you can,you're a strong and awesome person. believe in yourself,cause i do. i wanted to say this almost everytime but just that i dont know how to. i love you ayah. i always have. i might not talk to you like how some other daughters out there talk ,communicate with thier daddys but i swear i love you endlessly. without any questions. you're strong ayah. and remember im always here. im glad you was here with me in this rocky journey. ♥
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
so ive been watching vids from just now when i still know ive yet to pack my thing for school and etc. anyways,ive been liking this song since forever. i can really relate to this song. hear it,understand the lyrics. so-my-life,right now. im always a fan of Subi. he's sick\m/ ok bye,now im really packing my things for tomorro. *not to forget,ive yet to do my schoolworks -.- argh cb. not anymore,but i still love you. this feelings wont fade away,maybe?
Saturday, June 26, 2010
its like whut,1.20 in the morning. yet im still not in bed. i dont know why i cant sleep. insomnia? maybe huh. so as ya'll can see i've post the thingyy down there. *pointing at the previous post,its been there for only 5 mins,tehee.* i cant help the temptation of typing in again. so here i am,one thing humans need to really remember. not to look down on others. what makes 'em so huge/special/different from the rest to look down on others. we're all the same. cruel living things. arent we? pfft .- looking down on others doesnt make you some kind of a king/queen. you'll just make a fool out of your bloody self. whats so good of yourself that you can treat other less fortunate human beings like shit? and i know im not just talking for myself,i know im talking for alot of people out there who's in this situation. we feel like talking right,but our mouth just wont open. but at some point we gotta stand for our rights. we're not here to get humilated,we're not here to get insulted. we're not here for all that motherf.ing crap. laugh all you want now,but lets see who's gonna laugh out loud on you later on. dont look down on less educated people. dont look down on less hot people out there. there's always a pretty side of a person. i dont know what 'it' is but i swear you freaks out there will get it someday. ive been trap in this situation since,forever. so for once,we're all the same. human beings,if you forget. so dont fcking look down on others and me. you look down on me,you look down on yourself. you eat food,me too. whats so special. and also dont you ever under estimate me,freako. come on,grow up you freaks. gosh,pain in the ass much -.-
dont ever under estimate anyone. he's so brave just by trying,isnt he.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
uh huh. life is not easy,isnt it. the truth only means something,when its hard to believe.
this thaaang right here is unbelievable,and yes its the truth.
some people just cant accept the truth. am one of those peoples .-
try to change it in anywhere. never will succeed.
i shut my eyes and the world drop deads.
i shut my eyes and the world drop deads.
we all have stories we'll never tell.
either,you'll hurt yourself or the oppsite way.
i sometimes wonder why i even bother.
when no one cares.
when everyone just say what they want,and never will think of what others might feel.
if im as cruel as those people,i swear imma pain in your ass.
i'll say whatever i like.
but when i think again,we're all just the same.
we're human beings lost in this long journey called life.
i dont wish to hurt anybody. i dont wish to get hurt too.
life is full of fake people. dontcha think so?
better things have yet to come?
yea i wish :/
i wish i couldnt feel a damn thing.
and again,does wishes/dreams come true?
in my case,it never did :'(
its like i waited my whole life for that one night.
(rock on,chris brown.)
that one night,where everything seems so right.
seems so in place.
sometimes i think i need to get away.
everything's not easy in this life.
life would be perfect if,
bad times had a fast forward buttons,
and good times had pause buttons.
all i want is to be,happy.
fuck it all.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
ok read this people. espeacially you.
whatever's in this post of mine,got nothing i repeat nothing to do with you guys.
so now you cant say im 'talking' bout you,anymore. -.-
Sunday, June 20, 2010
im so so sorry,i know its not quite father's day already but.. Happy Happy Father's Day,Ayah. first of all,sorry for all the trouble i gave you. orang sedar,orang slalu susahkan ayah. membebankan ayah. and im really sorry bout that. you've always been there for me when i needed help. you're the best of the best. i might not say this everyday,but i ♥ you. thanks for everything. you're a great dad,and im proud having you as one. thanks for all the attention you gave me. nothing will ever replace you,ayah,i swear.
Labels: daddy, you're my superhero
i am so sick of speaking words that no one understands. so listen to this,read the lyrics. its almost like whats in head right now. i miss you,i probably shouldnt. but oh well.. life is full of fake people. some people are meant to fall in love with each other,but not meant to be together. pfft -.- stay in my life,please.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
was listening to music. play this song,and suddently i feel like i can really relate to this song. pfft. been missing you so much. i bet you dont care,at all. i dont know what im thinking/feeling these few days. i miss you,yes i do. but i still think of him. i think 1 part of me will always miss him. hmm,ok la bye.
(cheeky kan? i know,hehehe.)eh hey. ystrday went out with the girls,watch Karate Kid. it was awe to the some. reach home at 9pm. i enjoyed my day. thanks girls. next appointment eh girls,hehe. i didnt know i miss them so much until ysterday. twin's like so pretty now la. i mean prettier. every single one of them change for the better ah. me? i dont know just yet. today went out with family. hmm ah ok that about it. then now at home alone. i feel so lonely. currently listening to Paramore. as days goes by,i still wonder who am i to you. like who are we. i miss who you were. argh i dont know what im talking bout here. im talking crap. hehe. err blank. ok baii. (you're stupid if you read this,cause clearly me myself dont know what the hell im talking about.)
at last,dpt dngr his voice after a long long time. didnt know i miss him that much. i hope one day you can see me. and your heart skip a beat.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
done packing. i just reached home from chalet,today. and tomorro i gotta wake up early again for camp. and after this camp,there's another Np camp. wapiang eh,i feel tired already. help me! i gotta admit,i have friend. pretty ones. not-so-pretty ones. but still they're happily with someone. i miss being loved. thats all. sometimes i wonder,why am i not loved? i just miss the times we had together back then. but now,now its all diffirent. yes,maybe we're together. but just, 'together' doesnt make me feel wanted/loved. you seldom call me. you seldom msg me. infact you dont remember anything about that one big day. then you still wanna say we're together. that's 'together' in your eyes? strange cause in my eyes,never is near to 'together,in love' . im still hoping that one day god open your eyes,and see how much i love you. ok done,baaiii. 7 am for tomorro,no way. ok baii aii.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
currently at Costa Sand,chalet. everyone's out to swim -.- i cant,waah cb. but its ok,i enjoy the time alone. lols. hmm i dont know what else to do right now. i help momma marinate prawn,meat & fish the day before,for today. its very tiring,but its fun no doubt. we slept at 4 am yesterday. waapiang eh,i feel like sleeping right now. i just took picture with my aunt,Norita and Nadia.the 'Camera Queen' . wherever there's camera they'll find everyway to take picture. lol. cute ah they all . when i get the picture,i'll post it immediatly aite. lol. i know im talking crap here. but who cares. better than talking to myself like some kind of retards. cepatla,korang. swim pon nak lamer2. arrgh. ok la,baii aii.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
today's the day,i got the answer to what i wanted to know so bad. today's also the first day he reply me .- god. i waited for your msg,like everyday. i realise these few days that he didnt msg me when he said he's going to,i wake up every single day,the first thing i wanna search for is my phone. i want to see his name appear there,right in front of my eyes. but unfortunately,that never happens. until just now. yes,i thank god. at least he wanna reply me right. but still,one word msg. whatfck? whatfck is this. im making an effort to get in touch with long-lost you,you know. but you? are you even trying to? i wanted to know,who am i to you. well the truth is,ive met 'The One' . and he's not in love with me. and until i stop loving him,no one else really has a chance. im full of questions,i swear. if only you have the time to answer it. i really need to talk to you,iqyn. ok done its late,not really. baii aii.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
currently at Nasyitah's. just got back from Novena & Bugis with her. bought her Maxi Dress. ok im lazy to elaborate,ok baaaii aii. going home in a while. i'll post again when im free tomorro.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
fcking cb. i dont know what to feel. i dont know who to trust anymore.
everyone wears a mask,kan?
satu cakap laen,lagi satu cakap laen.
i trusted you m.f
im a fool for waiting so long:'(
people say,
a heartbreak is always a blessing from God.
it maybe a very scary nightmare that leave you crying
in the middle of the night.
but its just his way of letting you realise,
he saved you from the wrong one.
Labels: im sorry that i have feelings for an idiot -.-
Monday, June 7, 2010
i am so fcking bored that i just "Jeng Jeng Jeng" people's tagboard.
lol ok baiiii aiii.
iqyn , naq & alz mangse ku XD
Sunday, June 6, 2010
heey. went out with the usuals - Farah & Yanti. Farah went bali,Yanti i dont know why. more pictures coming right up. still waiting for alz and sharliza. Sharliza's open house. it was hell of a fun. we karaoked all the way. Sharliza's momma,she rock big time. haha. i came late cause i was preparing for kite flying with momma's side but end up momma said we'll go alilbit later than usual. so i decided to go her house for awhile. meet everyone there including Jueta. but too bad,she have to go right when i reached. haisssh. i miss you la spring ; D meet up soon aite. after that,around 6 went T1 then TMall. walked around,searching for musq's earstud,my present for Farhan. and yess,basicly just walking around. after that we decided to go our own ways. Naz and Musq,meeting their i dont know who. Naq and Alz,meeting their fams for dinner. Iqyn and Me,waiting for my family. after that,went Marina Barrage,Changi to have our late dinner. around 12.45am we head home. ystrday was awe to the s to the o to the m to the e. currently not doing anything. i havent mandi. ooopss,shh. i am soooo haaaaang-gereeh man. ive been waiting for his msg,day after day. but like what i predict he never did msg me but he said he will :/ he dont wanna leave,i dont wanna go. but we're stuck in a situation so nasty. then now what. pfft.
Friday, June 4, 2010
hey hey hey. currently at aunt's house. cousin's wedding tomorro. Congrats Kakak,i ♥ you. everyone's busy helping out,im busying on the comp. busy waiting for your msg. come fast,pfft. ok la brb. hehehe. to be continued-
Thursday, June 3, 2010
well im back. never judge a book by its cover,like many other people say. really,do not. i dislike this trainer maybe because he's diff. he stand out from the rest. he's in charge of this one station,but he dont talk. we were asking alll sort of question,but he'll reply one word and one word and one word. cool? no. but what i know was he's,amoug all,he's the very-not-fun trainer. but at the end of the station,he told us one thing. "Be confident,believe in yourself." which is i think the first amoug all trainers that ever say that to us. that one sentence make a huge impact on me. maybe not on the others but on me. i dont know why,but i can feel him. he makes it feels so deep that i tear. ive gone thru hard ways of learning what life is. and i know how it feel when you yourself is scared to believe in you because the thought of making the wrong decision is always in your mind. am i right. cause ive always felt that way ah. and the worst part is when im stuck,i dont know what to do. why must everything be so fckingcb. ok im done,for now. at least i fell better after posting. k baiiii.
