Labels: all i ever wanted is to be happy
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
i wanna go school tomorro. please AwesomeAllah. took my ipod from Farah already. today. haha. sorry eh korang,cam lambat siket gitu kan. im not in the mood-.- hmm i dont really like the word 'forever. because it always let me down. Touching Story. A girl and a guy was speeding over loo mph on a motocycle. Girl: slow down,im scared. Guy: no,this is fun. Girl: no its not,please slow down. Guy: then tell me you love me and give me a hug. The girl did so. Guy: can you take my helmet and put it on yourself,its really bothering me. The next day in the paper, "A motocycle crashed into a building due to brake failure." Two people were involved but only 1 survived. The truth is halfway through the guy realised that the brakes were not working,but he did not want the girl to know. So he had her hug him and tell him she love him 1 last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so she would live,even if it meant he would die. yes it is,very touching. i almost cried. its a forwarded msg,long ago. but still every time i read it back,i tend to tear up. i showed it to Farhan. Farhan: *laughoutloud* . Me: why are you laughing. i almost cried when i first read this. Farhan: dont be stupid. its fairy tales. you seriously think someone would do that. like foreal? (cb ah he). Me: kau ni,pig ah! orang tngh feeling2. Farhan: then you're stupid. tngh2 journey dkt road kau nak suroh matair kau bukak helmet kau and pakai. one question ah babe,how you gonna do that. mane kau nak check side mirror. mane kau nak check krete kat depan. krete kat depi moto kau sume. kalau aku,tak kuase la. da tau gitu,mati together sua. HAHAHA,kan betol tk? Me: love can make you do anything Farhan Aditra. (aku pon cam ye ye je,haha.) eh tapi betol jugak eh. by the time kau nak bukak helmet tu,kiterorang da langgar krete depan eh. HAHAHAHAHAA. Farhan: ah pandai. tau pon kau eh. so dont waste your time dreaming that one day,a guy would do that to you. haha. (im not even dreaming. bodonye pig) our text. funny like hell like he. until now,its something that we laugh at. that stupid pig always know the way to make me laugh even tho my mood isnt as good as it supposed to be. he keep on saying,girls dream alot. kan mcm sial tu. haha. whatever la. guys sucks,more.
Monday, April 26, 2010
fukerdudeyyy. fever,very the hot. arrrgh. flu,very the rabak. why must today? exams around the corner only you know. scary the mary,cb la. mc until wednesday. one maths lesson-that-i-really-need's gone. didnt attend school today,pfft. still got mc for 2 days-.- i try my best to go school tomorro despite my condition. i cant afford to throw my math lesson just like that. looking at this picture,i miss phy prac. Mr Kim's an awesome teacher,its just that im not interested in his lessons/teory. oh ya! talking bout Mr Kim's lesson,ive yet to buy my science long-lost book. and its less than a week till Science Mid-Year. oh great-.- currently chatting with Awesome Khai. i feel so guilty. i still do,you know. but dont force me to do things i dont want to. please. ive been telling you that, things are not like how it used to be,kan. i told you alot of times. but why,why you refused to wake up and face reality. i know its hard,ive been there before. ive gone thru this myself too. but somehow you gotta wake up and stop dreaming and to start a new leaf. face reality. sorry but its too much. its starting to get on my nerve. we're friends and just friends. so dont expect me to layan or reply or text or tegoh or whatever you want me to do,always. cause i have alot of other things to do. tapi i'll give you more time to continue bothering me,cause i know anyone at all when they're in this situation nothing works. so take your time,try to forget me. but seriously before its too late,i suggest you move on. you're a nice guy. dont waste your time. you can do this,you can move on. everyday i suffer also,thinking how cruel am i to do this to you. but feelings dont lie. they dont joke around. or do they? this might says so shoik sendiri or whatever you call it but listen up. thank for liking me,friend. thanks for being there whenever i needed someone. but i didnt thought that you want something behind it. thanks for waiting. thanks for understanding. thanks for everything. but it'll be awesome if you can forget me and move on. ive learnt that feelings dont lie. even if you say i love you thousand times,but when one does not have that feelings for the other then things wont change. ive learnt this from my own experience. sooner or later you'll realise that this is all a waste of time. like how ive realised it. why bother queing up when you know the stalls not open. im truly sorry. i dont know how many times have i say this but ya im sorry. i just dont have that same feelings toward you. and like what ive said feelings dont lie. i know how painful it is for someone you like for so long ignored you just ditch you. ive gone thru all that. so now for your own good,leave me. i dont want to hurt you like how i had. i dont want to be cruel. so go away. ive warned you. so later when you get hurt even deeper dont blame it all on me. k im done. no mood. bye.
Labels: somehow you gotta wake up and face reality
Friday, April 23, 2010
having a good time chatting with them. im out of pictures so i took this. lol. Toyol,upload picture please. HAHAHAHAA. and sorry Faiz i didnt watch tadi,i forget about it. so sorry. had Mother Lida today. it was ok. still chatting with Naq. hmm i dont know what to blog about. Ok,tomorro's Cross-Country. nbei cb. i cant run,i dont want to. pfft. cannot make it la gini. okok really out of words. k bye. dislike you more,im happy.Thursday, April 22, 2010
Mid Year. English,over. its do-able. such word? haha. alhamdullilah. i was stuck with letter writing for the first few minutes. slowing but surely those thing Miss Vani thought us come along. Free Writing was alright. to me its not that tough but still im scared. i wanna pass my exam,awesomeallah. tomorro's Mother Lida. its gonna be just fine. hope so. pfft. went TenderBest with the usuals after paper. then straight to 893. today semua orang mrepek. talk cock. haha. listening to Andrew. still figuring out whats wrong with him. he's talented yet he's out. wtf. why judge why. must be simon. heheXD Aaaaaaan you stupid pig! online la bacen. i wanna tell you something. and if you're reading this,cepat call rumah aku! pig you,stop dreaming start studying. haha. cb. like as if you started studying already la eh Farhan Aditra. gi jalan da kau. Aan,kau nak kene penumbooook sakti dari aku ah. you watch out,haha. cheey,mcm real eh. faster you pig! call me. Hp gi buang la. got hp pon tk charge,besarnye pig. kk da,i wanna eat. bye. i dislike you more today and im happy.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
AwesomeAllah! arrrgh,im scared! what to do. what can i do,to help?
what if he die starving?
what if he needs the toilet?
what if he never come back?
what if he had enough of all this?
what if he choose to run away?
he may be nobody to you,but he's still my uncle. i dont know,but i hate it when you do that to him. what were you thinking. where's your sifat Kemanusiaan?! i cant take this anymore. we do not treat him like that. we do not,alright. maybe yes you know him better,but one thing i must ask you. sifat Kemanusiaan,mane eh tersembunyi? i feel like slapping you. if i could. we dont have the rights to do that to him. please please,dont. when i saw you chasing him out,i tear. wtf i cant imagine what he'll be doing down there. let him in!!!! :'(
you cant do that to him la ibu. i mean he pon ader perasaan. he pon ade stomach,ader rase lapar,ader rase thirsty like us. dont just because he's special you can trest him like trash. memang he buat salah,tapi tell me who doesnt. orang feel like someone stab me from behind when i saw ibu marah2 dier then sepak2 dier. cannot like that la. im begging you. kecian kan dier la,a lil bit more. i know you've been sabar-ing all this while,but please can you sabar a lil bit more. if not for him,for ayah la. cause whatever it is he's still ayah's younger brother. i mean you cant do that to anyone at all. like ive said,where's your sifat kemanusiaan ibu. i dont want to sound rude but i really got to let it out. you're too much ibu.
Monday, April 19, 2010
"i dont care how fucked up this life is as long as i can live it with you." aww,thats so sweet of you. i dont care if you saw this somewhere else,Aan. what matter is,you said it to me. awesome. so thats NPAP's picture. ouch,i still feel the pain. argh cb. i think i miss Chong We Sir,lol. and his fierce-ness. currently listening to Beggin. im bored. really. oh and yes! ive gotten my CA1. i failed 3 subjects. arrrrrghhh. more problems. after school today,went library. studied math,what else right. haiss. constant proportion thingy2. alhamdullilah,i understand :) and i pass my maths test on the constant proportion thing,weeeee. i hope this thingy last. i wannt to ace all my maths test. illah eh. ok da i dont know what to blog bout,so bye. & i dislike you more today,and im happy.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
so mind your own business. you're nobody,to tell me what to do. cause its my life,you gotta remember. i leave your life alone,leave mine. please im begging you,have heart. its 11.40pm yet im still wide awake. i cant sleep,dont know why. ive been trying to be happy all this while. its working. alhamdullilah. but there's time when i still ask myself why i dont feel alive. is it because of the 'Happy Process' . you gotta stop thinking about the most precious thing on earth. you gotta stop thinking bout that someone that makes you smile all this while. cause somewhere deep inside,you're hurt by them. that just suck,i know. but its still for your own good. pfft,i dont know. i am happy but just that sometimes i dont feel,i dont feel that im being me you see. well,i know its hard to understand. cause you dont know what im going thru. but i really need to let this out. people always say,do whatever to make yourself happy. is this part of the 'whatever'? i dont quite get it yet. no doubt,im still happy. AwesomeAllah,please help me.Friday, April 16, 2010
its finally Friday. tight schedule this week. pheeww. NPAP Actual Day,tomorro. please AwesomeAllah. let me in. please make someone not able to attend the Actual Day. [ may sound quite evil but i really badly wanna,not be the reserve-.- ] my tiring few months turn to dust. arrrgh ya allah :/ . i was too busy with everything that i forget to return lib's book. fail. overdued for almost 2 weeks. issh walao. sorry my dear Huda. i swear it wasnt on purpose. if im not busy i intend to return the book long ago but due to my busy-ness i didnt. really sorry. im getting better. in reminding myself there's more to life. i hope i stay strong. cause there's no guarantee that this life is easy. we just gotta believe in ourself,in whatever we do. so to those,im sorry you guys have to experience this now. i pity ya'll. you gotta stand strong alright :) i know you can do it. to that little masai friend of mine,i wish you could see yourself like the way i see you. you're pretty inside out. you deserve the world. dont let this tiny thing pulls you down alright. be strong,awesomest friend\m/ ok da i wanna polish my boot. NPAP!!! i dislike you more today,and im happy. ok bai ai ai ai.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
today suck. im this bit away from going RR,late for school. bro use berre. np belt dont know where. new np belt metal thingy came off. sat at grand stand with the rest of the cadets. those,U-form problem,headache or whatever. for the whole training. cb-.- and this might lead to me not becoming the main team. arrgh fcker. reserve ah ni. cb la. arrgh. ive been giving my all for the past few months but this is what i get in return. ala fcker la. i feel like crying sey! ish,knowing tht i have high chance in not being the main team. i really badly wanna be the main team. sir,*slapyouhard*. she really thinks she's the Next Big Thing. pity her,cause we dont think so. big flirt. wtever girl. nafa tomorro. issssssssssh :'( tak smangat sey if it comes to 2.4 awesomeallah,help me please. my stamina's,not there at all. to those in hard times. take it easy,take it slow. cause there's no guarantee that this life's easy. awesomegod will not give us more than what you're capable of handling. i know you guys can do it. best of luck. i still dont understand why people think they have to live up to the world's standard. just,be yourself-.- i miss who you were. i dislike you more today,im happy. done.Tuesday, April 13, 2010
-Good friends(Y)-be happy not because everything's perfect nor because everything goes your way. be happy because everything sucks but you are doing just fine. yeah true la true. im trying and starting to believe in it now. ive been better. not saying that problems stop coming,no. it still is flowing but ive learn to look away from it. WTF. MY COMP LAG,IVE TYPE ALOT. THEN IT AUTOSAVE,AND SAVE ONLY THIS? WTF. NABEI. DA LA IVE NO MOOD TO BLOG DA-.-
Monday, April 12, 2010
someone just reminded me that problem is a part of life. without problems there's no life. there's no challenges. and that makes life easy. but life's not easy,remember. so dont complain if you've been getting alot of problems lately. its how you face it. i may not know the best way to solve a problem but im trying. at least. its hard time for me lately,and i wish things had turned up differently. its too late. nothing change. im still stuck in my wonderland. i dont seem to get things teachers says. i dont seems to be interested in anything. things at home,pfft. i just need to face it,i guess. i want this to get better. please AwesomeAllah,i want things to get better. but im still happy\m/ NAFA was pweee,tiring. 2.4 on thursday,i hope i pass. chatting with this anak Selamat. i dislike you more today and im happy. da la ok bye.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I love you also means i love you more than anyone loves you,or has loved you,or will love you, and also i love you in a way that no one loves you,or has loved you,or will love you,
and also i love you in a way that i love no one else,and never have loved anyone else,and never will love anyone else. you've always been there for me. whenever. wherever. you can understand me even when im not talking. you can tell whats going on when no
one else cant. i know,all of a sudden right. haha. i just had to say it. you're there,
listening to everything i have to say. and you're there,supporting me. you've been there
since forever. no homo but i love you. always do. thanks for being my closefriend.
you're awesome \m/
Friday, April 9, 2010
back on track. went NPAP today. was raining,drill in grill shed but i still feel its tiring. cause i gave my all (Y) ;B its one training away to the actual day. i was so caught up with NPAP that i forget to inform momma and daddy bout the meet-the-parent. ridiculous. jezz,im so dead. Mr chew will lecture me for 9 straight hours. haiss. no choice,i gotta tell him to set one day if he really wants to meet my parents. nafa's on monday/tuesday. i know im not prepared for it. arrgh. so far i didnt fail any 2.4 km run yet but i sure did struggle to the finish line. pfft,i suck la bodo. to whoever yang terase. why go NPAP if all you want to do is flirt here flirt there. tu tak pasal,beh noisy2. childish bunch of idiots. you say they're unreasonable,you dont know what you're talking about. come on,if kau joke2 alil bit,i dont mind ah. i take jokes. tapi kalau cam melebih gitu je kan,sorry ah you're messing with the wrong person la. who do you think you are? what makes you special that you can order2 people to do what you want them to? you're nobody la. you're just like us,cadets. you think just because you're brave enough to do what we normally dont dare to,we must follow whatever you say. i dont repect people like you. you can go die,you can say im just being somekind of joke. you can bad mouth me to other. but i still wont allow anyone to fool me around. im not your dog. you guys cant see that she's just using ya'll. you guy's really didnt realise that? if she wants something she'll ask you guys to take it for her. but when everything's ok she'll talk behind you guy's back. well if you guys dont then im telling you right now. she is using you guys just to satisfy her needs and wants. you can say whatever you want girl,but im not dumb. ader hati nak masok tapi prangai like shit. wtf. piker kau mane nye besar la kan bole suroh2 org buat bende untuk kau. maybe the others would think you're the best. but sorry,not me. you cannot treat me like dog like how you treat the rest. no way man. i rather sit infront one corner in the bus than run around attracting peoples attention. at least i dont go around trying to get up close to every guy in the bus la,-.- . dont test me. dont try me. dont push my limits ah friend. -.- m.f . i dislike today but i like Fridays,lol. tomorro's saturday people,dont feel like sleeping. haha. oh yes. ive finish 'waiting for you' . its a great book,really. going whitesand's lib to return it and borrow a new book,weekend. wwoooo. it doesnt makes sense to let go of something you have wanted for so long,but it also doesnt make sense to hold on when there's nothing there :\ i dislike you more today,and im happy. bye. Thursday, April 8, 2010
i want time to stop during that one moment if i knew its coming.
i'll remember today and i'll never forgets. so ok,today's tiring. uhhuh it sure is. did project after school with Assy,Afiq,Qyn & me. we did a good job,that irritating m.f cme project. and we're almost done,a lilbit of touch up here and there and we're done. not. history's crazy. im going crazy because of history. m.f . i cant sleep,wondering what happen. why do i feel so 'belong'. i want it to last. but the moment i step back to earth i know there's no way thats gonna happen. people says that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth,obviously they've never been in yourarms. i know its over,and it never really began but in my heart it was so real. i dont wanna talk bout it,arrgh. i dislike you more today,and im happy. bye.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
went Peranakan Museum instead of NPAP. as you can see,up there. tough one ah i can tell you. i have to decide on which one to go. haiss. i know Mr Lian wants me go NPAP but he didnt show it. lol. sorry ah cher. anw,nadiah and ekyn didnt go also ah. i promise i wont miss any trainings anymore. ok done. so the trip's awesome (Y) Peranakan Museum someway in orchid,i think. i was sleeping otw back to school. exhausted. hmm currently doing nothing. yesterday,i was so annoyed with you. i dont know why you're acting this way. i felt guilty,yes im sorry. but you cant change what's done you see. you've been quite harsh on me lately. you dont realise it. mom wanna use the comp. thefckmuch -.- ok i dislike you more today,im happy. bye.Tuesday, April 6, 2010
i am tired. burning hot la today. going to Peranakan Museum thingy tomorro. bodo. clash with NPAP. i dont want to miss any of NPAP trainings but neither do i want to miss the trip. since ive miss one of the Peranakanan trips before already,i seriously dont want to throw this chance away again-.- fuckedudey. tight schedule. you know what. i just sedar that Miss Gan's not that bad afterall. she jokes around also. and she's still particular in our works. she'll push you,hard, you dont even know you're that strong. i sound so jiwang-ish. meek,haha. i used to hate maths,who doesnt right. xD but now guess what im starting to like it. but still i suck at it. i realise that i tend to jump jump jump one topic to another. lol. sorry guys. and yes i just had my dinner yet im still hungry. i said 'fat'. shaun said, ' can see that. ' . cbei. haha. im eating again soon. hehe. having nafa next monday or isit tuesday. haiss,fcking nervous. what if i didnt make it through. what if i faint have way again. aiyoo. ok one last thing before i go get my stomach full. " life is susah la brother. life's not easy. i bet everyone agrees. being a human is exhausting. i dont know if it works la kan. but just hear me out. just because you fail once,doesnt mean you're gonna fail at everything. keep trying,hang in there and always always always believe in yourself. because if you dont,then who will. [ i believe in you,lol. ] keep your head high. and most importantly keep smiling. i wish everyone didnt have such high expectations of me too. i told you before right. so tengok..you said you're alone in this. but you're totally wrong. cause i have problems just like yours jugak. so why worry. dont worry too much la ok farhan. you said no one understands what you're going thru. and again you made a mistake. cause i know exactly what you're going thru and how you're feeling right now. not to worry,im always here for you la farhan. im just a call away brother. tu pon kalau kau malas kan nak gi bangon dari katil amek phone kau tok call aku,aku tak tau la ape nak cakap xD tu cannot help it la kan. tu kau nye pasal. pemalas,pigg! rest je kau tau,gi shower la smellyboy. da la,you must be happy. if not now then soon :B" ok im done. i dislike you more today,and im happy. Monday, April 5, 2010
today suck. what do you expect. mondays always suck right. 3 periods of math & science. i tell you,hell. graph,woo i like it. had NILB after school today. 'none is left behind' ,imagine ah.. thefck. haiss. NILB end at 3.30pm. meet the usuals at 893 afterwards. bought TenderBest then straight to 893. thanks iqyn :B you guys[farah and the usuals.],suck. haha. you guys,damn sick. you guys made me laugh so hard i feel like vomiting. cb :B asimah and khai was there too. hmm i got nothing to talk bout. and yes one thing. why. why now you shuts up. why now you stop all your nonsence. *rolleyes* skarang baru nak diam? skarang baru nak step all innocent. i mean you've been acting innocent all this while but now you're acting more innocent. hek-elerrrr,you thought you could control everything huh. fact is,you cant. who are you. know what,i dislike you more today. two face idiot. issh. when i look back,and see how dump i am to trust you truly. and now this. arrgh. i dislike you. i dont hate you,yet. im just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be. i aint faking it. maybe you should just stop. stop all your crap. i just realise,you suck. im not living for others,anymore. and for sure not for you girlfriend -.- da la,talk bout you makes me go crazy. why make myself go crazy when you're out there having fun destroying other's life. and one more thing friend,if you cant prove it then might as well dont make a deal. why promise when you know somehow you're gonna break it -.- ok da fullstop comma at the end of the day im still happy. im tired of being that little one everyone steps on to. so now,i'll pray hard you'll suffer just as much as i do (Y) good luck to you ah my true friend. i dislike you more today,and im happy. bye. pissed.
Friday, April 2, 2010
a prove that says im moving on. and because of me. and not anyone else. excuse me,i dont blame others for my own weakness. i wanna be happy. i am happy. Good Friday today. went out with family,lunch at Arnold. awesome. after that went Tmall. thought of going Suntex but everyone went out. wtf much. but im still happy. im getting happier day by day. im proud to say that i made people's day xD i know cousin loves me alot. that makes me happy. i know farhan wont hate me. that makes me happy too. i know i make people laugh even to the lamest jokes ever. that makes me happy. see i told ya im happy. i dont wanna be sad,anymore. im tired of crying. im exhausted. to you. who's still suffering[yela,suffering la sangat. pfft -.- like you've said. trying to move on but what shit what shit. blah blah blah. two face idiot],good luck ah. im sick and tired of trying to understand you when you're not doing anything. im sorry but i cant live for others,anymore. i had enough. im tired of. of you. ok done fullstop Im doing,nothing. i'll die of boredom. im hungry. one last thing,i dislike you more today. and im happy \m/ ok bye.Thursday, April 1, 2010
today's such a boring day. im's bash cancelled. alahai. was really looking forward for today. meeek. majority of the class not coming so we decided to cancelled it. pfft. but still Happy Advance Brithday Imran. you \m/ la md im. haha. coloured our nails using marker,colourful markers. and then cannot wash off. argh cb. all your fault la stupid kambeng. haha. Good Friday tomorro,wooo. dont have plans for tomorro,yet. farhan you can go die la. what you want? haha. cannot stop disturbing me isit. cbei. busybody,dont try to ask tiara whats happening la. gi main jauh2 la Aaan,sebok2 je nak tau. i wasnt in the mood after school today,i dont know why. pfft. i just dont feel like talking to anyone. i get really annoyed inside. tak nak cakap banyak la kan,unlike you. as days goes by,i dislike you more and more and more. two face moron. cb. pfft. ask me what's my problem. and i'll answer,you. pissed.
