dont you think you can treat people like that. who you think you are. yes he owe you one but that doesnt mean you can treat him like trash. what if people do that to you. yes he dont talk but he's a human being too. he got feelings,dont you realise that. dont just think of yourself la. wtf! orang yang tak kene mengene with this,boleh rase what he feels. apelagi kalau dier yang merasekan all this. you're too much la. siket2 boleh la,tkmu over the limit la. tarok him kat jamiah,rumah orang tumpangan! fucker. what if people put you there. what would you feel. im not trying to side him here. but really you shouldnt treat him or anyone at all like this. like sampah. mane2 can buangnye. day by day,nothing really gets better. why must hide food. so that he wont have anything to eat because like you said he ate alot outside already. whaaaaat? how do you know. what if he's starving to death. tkde orang tau what. he tk pernah bilang pape. maybe because he's terrified of you. tk perna terlintas dalam your fikiran ke yang maybe he's trying but the surroundings not helping him in everyway. orang kecian kan dier,he really went thru hell here. knape people cant feel him! anyone. eventho dier tk ckp pape but i can tell that he's suffering. why have family when no one wants to admit that he's a part of them. im sorry if this might sound rude. all this is bullshit! are you a human or not? why treat your own kind like this. why? because he's a lilttle special? wtf. arrrggh. too much too much. what gives you the right to treat people like this. im so angry with you right now. i dont want to talk to you right now. i hate it when you treat him like how you're treating him right now. he dont have anyone in this world. yea,family. but seriously what are family for. to put him aside. like he's nobody to you guys? really,thats what families are for?if you say im rude then what are you. you just cant see him happy right. you'll yell at him like he's 3 blocks away when he's right under your nostril. you let him clean all day without having something to eat. i dont know but for this moment right here i find you evil,very evil. cruel. you'll blame him for everything. even when he dont know whats happening. he's one innocent soul. issh,i seriously disagree with the way you treat him. dont treat him like trash! after all he's your in law. and he's my uncle,so treat him well.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
everyonewearsamask.
eh hey evilworld. had my first full dress rehersal for NPAP. it wasnt superb but we did our best. preview's getting even nearer. ah fck. today was so so so tiring. im exhausted. we repeat the same old thing over and over again. well,thats what makes it perfect la. but it was not cool. lol. i mean we were running all over HTA. run to form up point,run to grand stand and back to form up point to repeat the whole parade all over again. sense of urgency. it was fun tho. trust me,it was burning hot. alhamdullilah,i made it thru. i was dizzy like most of the time thru out the parade but i didnt fall out. congrats to me. nyahahaa. there's a reason why sirs are assign to be in change of a contijent [ or however you guys spell it ]. they will be there motivating you, ' endure cadets,one last time. give your all. a liltle bit more. ' whenever you feel like giving up,like falling out of squad. i think. i thought of falling out in the parade today cause my energy left like 1% only and i was shaking,but before i could do that they motivates us again. awesome ah (Y) everyone's talking bout Justin Sir,haha. no doubt,he's charming. but im not paying attention to him la friends,so dont ask me bout him uh sey. aiyoyoo. you want to know,you go find out yourself uh sey. haha. you guys ah.. cheeky eh. haha xD mom,she's very cute. we were in the car going town. then she saw the Singpore Flyer,then she confident you know." eh2,ni fly over ni. " haha. we were laughing our ass out ah sey while she's figuring out whats so funny. when she's the reason why xD. she nag,alot. but she still \m/ like to the core. i got that strong feeling like its me,again. i cant take it anymore. what ive done wrong. what else did i do wrong. if you dont mind. i cant pretend like i dont know anything when i think i know everything,anymore-.0" kanasai,life's harsh.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Its Friday. and i want peace. can i have it AwesomeGod. its annoying,when people keep on commenting on the picture when its nothing to do with me and i have to open one by one. my notification is loaded with shit,i tell you. please kindly stop commenting! pity those who have to experience this with me. bahahahaa. if you want to comment,comment betol2 la kan. then da gitu comment many2 dkt orng punye gambar then quarel. immature. kan memalukan diri. and im tired of opening one by one,pop ups. issh really pissed off. no life idiots. comment tapi buat macam chat corner ah gitu panjang2,eh2 piker orang free sangat ape nak bukak one by one. morons btol,arrgh. ok da pikerkan orang2 ni sume menyakitkan hati. tomorro having Full Dress Rehersal,NPAP. Mr Lian just gave NPAP cadets our new ranks. auto promote. for me is,lens corporal uh. haiss long way to go man. but every journey starts will a single step maah. shall not lose hope. nyahahaha. to awesomeyanti. i hope everything's getting better for you. dont give up on life. everythings gonna be just fine. ok i've boots to polish. byeaii,hehe. "never take someone for granted. hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you've lost a diomand while you were too busy collecting stones"
Dedicated to AwesomeYanti. life's a bitch cause if it's a slut i'd be easy.i wish i was enough for someone,too. you're never alone my friend.i feel like no one,no one notice me. i want to run away,far away from all this,too.hold your head high gorgeous,they will kill to see you fall."In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." lets for once,try to believe in it.listen to you heart above all other voices,yanti :B you'll never know how strong you are .. until being strong is the only choice you have. i know you yanti. you're strong. strong for all this. you can make it thru.i wanna be happy,too. being happy doesnt mean everything is perfect. it means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection. yanti,im always here. dont worry. we'll go thru it together.
Heey. scream. its sunday. school's tomorro. arrgh. i shall stop everything at 8.30pm and open my school beg and do Hols Assignm. math. english. homec,i dont think im doing homec anywhere. katy perry sucks la. [2n version,hehe.] aiyoo. i dont feel like doing her work la,classmate. anyone not doing her work also,kindly lemme know alright. hehe. currently chatting with Farhan and Aidil. its not getting any better la aan. he's not stoping,at all. fcker. idiot. listening to Cinta Ixora's music video. i follow the story. i think i like the story,lol. yesterday's outing to ecp with class,actually not the whole class uh. some didnt get to turn up due to 'reasons'. was ok. nothing much happen. quite expected also. who came,erm. mabel zoee shimin isabel nat dina me erwin. meet them at small mac by right at 12pm but we came late. sorry guys,girls lol. so due to idontknowwhat amir and some other friends [ idk who ] went home. it was raining. it sure did. but we still go,haha. and now i feel so cold. shit,dont tell me im getting sick. fever,nooo. no way. dizzy,shit. ok shall stop now,eat do homework watch tv reply aan. lol,farhan i know you're going to msg me any time from now telling me how was it. kan. lol. ok.
Me: dil,kau ader 'sunday morning' tk.
Me: by,dorang all time low.
Dil: tak.remembering sunday ader ah...
Me[just realise that it wasnt sunday morning but remembering sunday]
remembering sunday! ah tu la dier.
embarass,confident satu macam. tapi salah. hehe. put all the blame on youtube.
i was searching for the song then came out Sunday Morning. i forgot the title
so i thought it was right. then i go ask aidil. i bet dil's lauhing his
ass out right now. cb.
Friday, March 19, 2010
issh,fucker. ive yet to finish up my Hols Assignm. ive not even stated on my long dued F&N coursework. ive not get the perefect time to meet up with Farhan. i havent polish my boots. alot of things to do but lilttle time to do it. arrgh. oh yes farhan. he's such an arrrgh. where the hell did he get my number from. what the hell does he wants. what the hell is wrong with him. irrit you know. he called i rejected. he texted i ignored. what else? he stalk? please say no. he always kan text me then say things like as if i wanna know like that. scary sia aan. he sape sey? eh cannot take it already uh. wapiangeh. sape nak gi layan him sey. he keep bothering me sey. you call him already tk? please uh,help me leeh. i dont know him and dont wish to see his number all over my phone. arrrgh,annoyed. feels like stabbing him. he text me macam da lamer kenal tau aan,then right he everytime wanna know what im doing la,what am i wearing la,have i eaten ke belom la. eh2,ape sey dier. idiot. ok so i got alot,alot of things to do. left with 2 days til school reopens. sucks. going ecp with classmates tomorro,picnic. yay cant wait. so left with only sunday to do all the things. arrrgh. planned to study maths this holiday but see what happens. issh,pissed off. with myself. not fcking organised la myself. Aan,sorry if i cause you alot of troubles. Aan texted me just now, " i'll be there for you. im just a phone call away,tapi if i didnt answer that means my ppd low la tu. " haha what only la this guy. cam gini also can joke2. ah thank you my dear farhan. kawan yang baik uh you aan. you've been there for me thru out my ups and downs. walaupon i this silly,you'll still stand up and say im your friend. you simply \m/ la Md Farhan Anditra. eh smelly do your Hols Assignm ready not? nanti kene call up parents lagi. kekekekee. this world does'nt make any sence anymore-
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Heey im back. i miss out alot,i know. camp was alright. food's horrible but what do you expect. its camp,come on. well,kindof pissed off with it cause im dead starving. i didnt eat for bloody 2 days because of you know what happen. terrified. supper a slice of bread,how lucky. *roll eyes.* over and done with camp. i can tell you that i enjoyed the camp and i didnt enjoyed the camp at the same time. lol,complicated eh. bersurai at about 10.45 am just now. it feels like im in heaven when Parade Commander say out the command for the last time. i bersurai with a smile on my face. cause i know im free to drink ice tea and eat zinger. hehe :) went home straight cause was too exhausted. but have to accompany mom to market,wet market. gosh. stinks. was tired but its alright,i miss momma. she called me during camp. the last night,just to ask me have i eaten. and talked to me for hours when im supposed to sleep. lights out. how cute. i know right :) after that,i slept all the way til 4pm,hehe. and ive yet to shower. shh. malu la sey. i know someone's not bathing today also. kan farah kan? haha. currently listening to Andrew Garcia. great singer. talented one too. im bored. oh ya before i forget,lemme get this clear. im not the kind of person who gets pissed off easily but when you push my limits too high i'll burst up into flames. so dont make me angry. arrgh. i hate to hate others so dont make me. dont push my limits. you ruin my life i'll ruin yours,be prepared. annoyed with idiots. ok thats all. i think i miss yanti and iqyn,alot. its been 4 days :( and i miss ice pop padang kallang. haiss. i miss soccer. i miss nitra. bodo uh. iqynnn!! i wanna study. lets study. i dont want to fail,please deargod. i wanna make ice milo,bye. you never really stop loving someone. you just learn to try to live without them-
For once i thought,like finally i found a guy who is really different.But you know what,i think im just plainly dumb to still love you.Im giving up,this time round foreal.You make it sound as though its easy but you dont know what im going thru.What the fck.I shall not waste anymore time on this cause i know theres more deserving human beings that care and love me.So why not love and care bout them back.I got my friends.You said that right.I shall get this clear,i wont love you anymore.Clear enough.I used to get really moody and rude.Cause im so caught up thinking of you/missing you.Momma dont deserve the kind of attitude im giving her.I should start respecting momma and to hell with you.Arrgh,you make me do this.You make me dislike you.I hope you're happy now and im trying to not love you like i used to.You want it this way,i give it to you.I dont want to show anyone that im upset,i just want people to know that this is over. Stop reminding me of you now that im forgeting you even if its not easy."Just be happy eclipse".Whuut? Fine im trying to be happy right now,and please people dont remind me of him.Ever.Its gonna hurt?whuut?plain bullshit.Excuses.I want to concentrate on my studies.I cant be getting Fs for every test i sat for,anymore.Not blaming you,but its facts right.Now i'll concentrate on school and not on any other things.Dont need to worry anymore,{yourname}. Beneath those eyes,what are you actually thinking of.You're a kind of guy knows how to make a girl smile all day and cry all night. You're awesome evilguy\m/ im upset and pissed off. ok im done-
Damnit,i still love you.Fucking asshole.Why do i love you so much.Whats wrong with me.You're the only one.Because there's no one better than you.No one can make me feel the way you does.Im sorry but its not easy for me to forget you,not at all.I eat,i think of you.I drink,i think of you.I read book,i think of you.I run,i think of you.I listen to songs,i think of you.I study,i think of you.I cry,over you.And i think I love you,alot.I still love you.You dont seem to notice,but its alright i'll wait.Wait for you,no matter how long it takes.Boy you've been the greatest prize any girl can ask for.With your presence,im breathless.I want to hold you forever.I fall for you more and more when i look into your eyes.I found you in my life.Hoping one day you'll be mine,so i can love you forever.I wish i was your fav girl,but i guess that wont come thru.Ever.I wish i was that last thing on your mind before you sleep.But i guess,i dream alot."Thare's always that one person,no matter how long it's been,or how badly they've treated you,if they say i love you,you will say it back" True.How i wish the last part of the sentence happen.Haiss.Alamak,i still love you alot la.I suck :'( eclipes-
"Ok aku miss kau la gemook! Lain kali if go fly kite,datang la jangan tk datang.Rindu eh,amek kau.Skarang baru nak rase,dulu kalau dngn dier mcm superglue gajah.Mane2 pegi mesti dngn fuad.Headache aku,kak.Sabar je la kak.If he can move on why cant you,kan.Macam kau ckp la,muke tak sebrape kan.Hahaa.Kau giler2 piker pasal dier,dier ader piker pasal kau kak?Kau try tanye dier,haha.Tkmu waste time,lain kali cari yang kocek overflow with money k kak.Jadi senang,haha.He got lots of spare parts la kak,so tk worth it uh wait for someone like him.Move on suda kak.Its not easy uh kan,no doubt.Tapi if you continue having that feelings for him,ape kau dapat.Kau makin saket hati lagi ader kan.See you're so lucky to have cousin that care bout you.[referring to aku!!] Hehehe.Ok aku love kau uh kak."
Heey.These few days has been hell for me.I wasnt in the mood,at all.I dont know why am i this weird but i know i wasnt up for studys.I didnt pay attention in class,i wasnt putting in much efforts in my work.I wasnt concentrating,at all.I dont know but i think i just cant.I cant concentrate no matter how hard i try to.Whatttt the fuck is wrong with me,people.Am i going crazy or something.Im sorry but i have to get this clear,if i say im not in the mood to do anything at all,i mean what i say aite.Dont expect me to do what i dont want to,if im not replying you then thats it.Why pissed off?I told you i wasnt in the mood to talk,to anyone.You mean you dont understand what im trying to tell you.Go away,for once.I feel so trap with everyone around me everytime.Please let me go.And i learnt that Trust is a huge thing.If you're not trusted then you're nothing.I guess thats me,im nothing.Nothing in your eyes.You dont just say you trust that someone and not showing it to them.Everyone can tell that they trust you but not everyone can show how much they trusted you.Trust me,mom.I wont let you down,i promise.But why cant you trust me.Do you trust me in the first place.It come back to the same question,who am i.Who am i mom.You're not answering me.You're not giving me the hint,at all.How must i figure it out.I dont seems to matter in you eyes.Im sorry but i had enough.You have feelings,i know right.But i do too.Stop giving me excuses that im still a kid.But dont forget that,im growing up.I am,mom.I can think better now,mom.Dont you think that im still your 7 year old girl anymore.Momma please,what must i do to gain your trust back.Im dying to know.-Do i even have it in the first place.You've been *thumbsup*.But i need space to get on with life.Ive love you from the start,and i am still.Orang sayang Ibu\m/ Ok school's,fuck shit.F&N coursework not done when the dateline is way over.Haiss,doing it today..Hopefully.
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