Divine Chaos.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
[Fat legs alert!]Well hello world.It change,in everyway.Im putting in effort,i hope it pays off.And to you,we'll go thru it together aite stronglady.I'll push you,you'll push me.Insyaallah,things'll get better.If not we'll cry together and try even harder to let things that dont belong to us go.Ok,so today being the first day of 'everything'.It is indeed hard,but i control what i should.Had Math Re-TA,i didnt have time to finish up the last 2 pages of the paper.Arrgh shit,in deep stress.But i have that feeling that im gonna be great in this time round.I just have that feeling,but we shall see if feelings are true.'Feelings are true',it is? Cause i dont think its true.Its fairytales.Ok stop NurAmiraFazzy-.- Over and done with,remember mira.When im in deep pain i'll talk to myself.When im pissed off i talk to myself.When i need someone to talk to and no one seems to know i'll talk to myself.So do you think im crazy now,i think i am and im getting even crazier this days.So form class,isnt getting any better.Fuck you,pilled this after this issue.Stop picking on me.Its weird isnt it when teachers say something infront of the class but it feels like their talking to you only you.Thats what i felt you monster Mr -ohyouknowwhoyouare- Had enough la bodo. CCAs,what else can you say.Of course its tiring.CampCraft,changed with Shikin since i didnt attend quite a number of the trainings due to extra classes/my condition/whatever else.Argh fuck,but its alright.So tomorro,tomorro is the CampCraft Compe.*Scream loud,who cares* Must be in school at 7 am sharp in Pt.And why am i listing down the details here,ok haha.So yaa,excited? Quite. Scared? Uhhuh. Nervous? Think for yourselve. Home. I dont know,nothing seem to change and change permanantly.It'll change but nothing can stop it from growing strong again.- For a minute there,i lost myself.Useless me.I can do nothing.Nothing's changing.Wtf is this.I love you mom,you know that.I wish my family could get together like yours.Hard indeed but impossible to get to see rainbows and not feel the rain,am i right.There's more to life,i guess.Killer voice.How the hell did i lose my voice.Alright im done.
Labels: things that dont belongs to me
Thursday, February 25, 2010
[Gambar tkde kene mengene with the post,lol]Im moving on,foreal.I dont wanna leave all this behind but i have no choice.
I have no rights to stop anything from happening,so now im ranning away from everything that happened.I know its not a briliant solution but i cant take it anymore.I dont want to continue lying to people.I dont want to put up a smile when i dont want to,anymore.I guess this is the best.So no one gets hurt,let it just be me.I dont see any improvement.Its true that im trying to get away from all this,trying to forget you.Forever.And im not joking,i dont want my friends to get hurt.I really dont,alz.Im sorry if all this while ive been selfish,just thinking of myself."I seriously ikhlas to give him up.Dont look back and regret cause me myself wont be doing that.Memang it was shocking to see that just now,but its okay.I know you love him,much.You dont have to be guilty for whatever reason.Eventho you guys arent together anymore but deep down i know that you still have feelings for him.Dont deny.I mean its impossible to forget him,right alz.I feel guilty not letting him go,cause i know how you feel towards him.I dont want to live a life full with regrets.Im sorry if all this while i cant start forgeting him.But now,im trying.I hope you understand.I really want you to know that i wont want to hurt you because you're one great friend that i dont wanna lose.And i dont want you to suffer.I rather suffer then have to look at you suffer.I want you to know that eventho we both have that strong feelings for that particular someone,i still love you alot.I dont hate you cause you love the one i cherish the most-.- really,haha.Im gonna be just fine,so you better be too.Trime all this with an open hand ok,i want you to be happy.Ini je yang aku mampu do for you.I hope its good enough.Im letting him go once and forall.Remember I Love You Alz."
Labels: i guess its time
Friday, February 19, 2010
Ah hello.My friends have been telling me to not be emo.Im not being emo anyway.Ok i am happy,not.Going out today with Mom's side as usual.Fly kite,Fishing again.Ive not shower,hehe.I stink,but who cares.Maybe my mom cares but not me,hehe.I'll bath soon.
Currently chatting with him.It feels good,random much.Ok campcraft Competitions next week and ive yet to know some of the knots.Arrgh,i have to.Have to learn them asap.Brother just went for his Camcraft compe just now.Good luck you irritating brother :) We're supposre to have out Maths Test on Friday but end up we didnt.Cause Sabrina went home,sab!!! Youre in big trouble.I study for it tau,haiss.Tautau tak jadi ader test.You ehh.. :) Recover soon Sab.So the test will be drag to Monday.But thank God,i can still study for it.I will,will study for it ok.Farhan,congrats.See shes worth waiting for,kan aan kan.Dont let her go,ever again.Hmm i shall stop here.
Knowing that someones wrong for you,doesnt change the way you feel towards them.
Labels: i dont think i can stop
Insert picture-
Hello.School's normal.Friends nothing change.Family i dont know whats happening.Cca tiring.Him,i dont know.Im not stoping,i'll always do loveyou.
What was i thinking of at that point of time?
I wasnt jealous i guess but i just want to be treated equally.
Who am i?
Why arent i being equally treated.
Arrgh fullstop
Maybe you're right,maybe he just takes me as a joke.
Cause he knows im always here waiting for him,no matter whats gonna happen.
So he fool me around,whenever he's Alone he'll come searching for me.
But when he's not he'll forget me.
Is that what you're trying to say?
I dont know what to reply you when you said that to me friend.
Cause i know that might be true or maybe it is,but i dont know how to stop.
How to stop loving him.How to forget him.
How to forget everything.
Deep inside,i dont wish to forget him.At all,even when i know i might get hurt.
I just cant.
I just dont know how to.
I find it impossible.
Nothing's Impossible? It that true?
Then in this case why do i feel its impossible to not think of him for just a day.
Trying to forget someone you treasure is like trying to remember someone you dont know.
I think i have something to say to you.
But i never did,cause i was too afraid.
i love you,i cant help it.I want you to know badly that whatever happens imma be right here. For yyou.
Iloveyou,toomuch.Im sorry if its wrong:'(
Labels: sometimes the heart sees whats invisible to the eye
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Life is so unfair.
No one said its gonna be easy but why must it be this hard.
Im not prepared for this.
Unless you've lived my life,dont judge me.
because you dont know,never have and never will know
every single detail bout me.
Things arent getting any better.People says in the middle of difficulty
lies opportunity.But i dont seems to see any.
Theres lots of two-faces.Real Eyes.Realize.Real Lies.
They'll trick you of who they are without you noticing.
That suck.
I feel like an idiot.
Problems piling up,my life's full of shit.
I dont care too much for money,money can't buy me ♥.
Can money buy you love? If its possible tell me.
Too much pain.
Forget bout the people from the past,there's a reason they
didnt make it to your future?
But how.How do you forget the person that used to make you smile,so much.
That makes you stop crying.That makes you forget
all your problems for a while when no one can succesfully do that.
The one that you treasure,the one you wont want to lose.
Its easy to say,but it aint that easy to feel it for yourself.
Im confuse of what to do.
There's a point in life where you get tired of chasing everyone
and trying to fix things.Its not giving up,Its realizing that you dont need certain
people in your life and the drama they bring.
Dont worry,be happy?
But how do you not worry.When things arent in the right place.
Run away from Problem A,comes Problem B.
Run away from it all,you'll end up giving up cause you saw
there's always Problem C right behind you.
I love this crazy tragic sometimes almost magic awful beautiful life,not.
Labels: Fuck you problems.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Miraa. says:
Oh enjoy your meal yanti.
Δhhh says:
Thanks Mira
It was delicious.
Okay lol.
Miraa. says:
Hahahaa oh i see.
Im jealous.
Im starving.
Δhhh says:
Really? ):
Should have told me.
Miraa. says:
Uhhuh.
Δhhh says:
We could share!
Miraa. says:
Oh really! Hahahaa!
Aww thats so sweet of you.
Δhhh says:
Haiyo next time tell
xD
Miraa. says:
Hahaa,ya hor then can pass the food thru the comp uh kan.
Lol.
Δhhh says:
YES
COOLNESS
received at 10.21pm
We're cool like this,nyahah-
Oh enjoy your meal yanti.
Δhhh says:
Thanks Mira
It was delicious.
Okay lol.
Miraa. says:
Hahahaa oh i see.
Im jealous.
Im starving.
Δhhh says:
Really? ):
Should have told me.
Miraa. says:
Uhhuh.
Δhhh says:
We could share!
Miraa. says:
Oh really! Hahahaa!
Aww thats so sweet of you.
Δhhh says:
Haiyo next time tell
xD
Miraa. says:
Hahaa,ya hor then can pass the food thru the comp uh kan.
Lol.
Δhhh says:
YES
COOLNESS
received at 10.21pm
We're cool like this,nyahah-
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Who am i?Who am i to you?
Am i invisible?Am i not here?
Why am i being ignored?Give me a valid reason.
Am i a burden?Am i such a watse of time?
Whats wrong with me?Who do you want me to be?
Why am i being treated like,no one?
Do you want me here?Can i run away from all this?
Am i giving you a hard time?
I want you to know you're the one i'll always treasure.
Im nobody,i suck and i deserve to be treated this way.
Imma waste of time,everythings about me is wrong.
Im sorry,i know ive been giving you a hard time.
Whats wrong,with us?
Why arent we getting any better?
Why am i being so stupid,why did i even bother to try when nothings gonna work.
I wanna change,change me.
Why am i not like any other of your childrens?
I cause alot of trouble,and i sucksucksucksucksucksuck.
Why am i different?
Do you hate me?
I hate me.
What must i do?
Nothings seems right.
It sucks to feel like no one cares bout you,like you dont exist.
When you're right under their nose.
Argggggh,i suck :'(
Mom-
Labels: I suck i know :'(
[I just had to do it,i just had to post every now and then.Today there's alot in my mind.]
Too exhausted with
school,life,cca,friends,parents,teachers,homeworks,feelings,trying to forget you.
Labels: i need a break
Saturday, February 6, 2010
I wonder if its too late.
But imma still wait.
Labels: to see you suffer this much cuts me even deeper
Friday, February 5, 2010
Hello,ok so this one's a proper update.NPAP's trainings started already.Yesterday is the 2nd trainings and i already feel the tiredness.But yes i know thats only the begining,there's more to come.Area 9,nonsence like hell la.Haha.Reached home at 9 yesterday.Today,i didnt go to CampCraft Training.Arrrgh sorry guys.Im exhausted.I woke at 12 just now,fat pig! School's have been alright.Hmm what else can i say bout school,nothing.Just boring,same old routine everyday.To those whom ask me bout yesterday im sorry i cant really explain what happened.To you guys whom i told,thanks for being there for me:D And Mdm Umi is one great person.She might be your teacher but when she lets her true colours out.You can see that she's the one you want to count on to when you have problems,about anything.Currently listening to All Time Low.And chatting to Alzz and also Iqyn.This week,mom's side going to fly kite agian please.I hope so uh! Ive been missing Huda and Jaja badly.I try to book date for us to meet up but the dates dont seem to help me.Whenever im free,they're not free.When they're are,im not free.Arrrrgh :'( I really gotta buck up in my studies.They're not getting any easier,so it means i gotta start bursting my brain studying already.Im so evil,I drank up the whole big bottle of Sunkish Orange even when i know my FatSister loves it.Ooops,hehe.Sorry kak,remember i love you.Hahahaha! Jezz. Im in need of spare phone,badly.Ayah buy me a new phone,please!! My china phone no hope already right,i told you guys.Then this one my bro's phone.Pon sot,everythings alright but i cant msg/reply people.Wtf much? Uhhuh.Now im using my mom's super tiny phone,LG.Cute like hell but if you buang into the sungai kan,fish pon i think tak nak sey phone sigini rupenye.Hahahaha.Serious,but who cares.Better than nothing uh right.Ok la,i wanna cook maggi.Im out.
Labels: If i can see future i swear i'll pick you first.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Dedicated to my dear awesomxt Alz.I know you're strong.And i'll be there for you whenever you need someone to talk things out.You can do it,he only makes you stronger.Hey you got a mirror?Look at yourself and understand you're too beautiful to let anybody break your heart just like that :D Till the end of time,i'll be there for you friend.
Remember you're not alone.
♥ miraa-
Labels: you gotta know that i'll support you in whatever you're doing
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Wuuu,didnt see that coming.
There's no need to force yourself,foreal.
Im sorry if that makes you even stressout.
Labels: Big deal indeed.
Well hello.I didnt go to school again today cause i wasnt feeling well.Part of it.And also bacause i woke up late today,i woke up at around 7 and i didnt have the mood to go to school.Boleh cam gitu eh mira eh.Lol.Sorry to friends,who are waiting for me in school today.I miss you guys too :) And to iqyn sorry i didnt tell you earlier,i forgot uh.My bad.Ok so i went Poly for MC just now.Chat with Atul early on,that day.And found out that she didnt go school also.Hey highfive girlfriend.Lol.So end up go Poly with her plus Asimah and Khai.So meet Atul at Pakcik's Nordin's kedai punye bastop.Then walk to TenderBest since fatty[atul,lol] wanna makan there.Then we walk there and i decided not to eat Tenderbest since i wasnt in the mood for it,lol.So atul gave up and we went Poly straight away.Ahaa,im sorry tul.Bas ed to Poly,just now was freaking hot.We werent sure of what to do when we reach Poly,lol.I wasnt used to going Poly by myself without Dad following.So at last we found out that we have to take the number and wait .- What fuck sey,waited for like 15 mins.Not lamer sangat la eh.Then ok blablabla,then after everything Khai went to fetch his bro and we went to KFC since our tummy's growling.Mine espeacially.So ate Meltz and wuuu feel like heaven on earth.Ok so after that walk around2,to T1,TM blablabla.Then took 291 back home,saw Fauzi in the bus.Go gym or whhuut bro,lol.Ok now currently chatting with Khai.He's not arrogant.Ok blame me,i wasnt right when i judge him and think that he's so freaking arrogant.But he's not,he's one good guy.Lol,sorry khai.I wont jugde a book by its cover no more.And fb equal to fuckyoou.Lol,lame much i know.I was so pissed off with fb.Ive been trying to log in,ok yes it does but then when i wanna reply comment or go anywhere it just lag like foreal lagging.I wont give up cause i wanna see that one particular comment you gave me.Hmm,ok see you tomorro world.
Labels: ♥ For once lemme know you're happy :'(
