You can never feel how i felt,ever.Your words cut me like a knife.You can always wait for a wound to heel,but you can never erase the pain in your heart.Nothing can heel heartache.I try my very best to hold it all this while.But now,its too much.I felt the pain that no one,no one at all,will ever experience.People say you gotta believe in love if you want love to believe in you.People say love exist.But do they?You can forever and ever hurt someone but you can never ever know how much pain they suffer all this while.When you think there's someone that cares bout you,they just dont show it,do they.Im confused,people say they love you and thats why they act like this.But what if they make you feel unwanted,even worst.They make you feel like you're no one,no one and will never be one.You still gonna shut up and think they love you?I can take people beating me up like there's not tmr but i just cant take it when you start making me feel like i dont exist when im here right under your nostril.You make me think that you shoudnt have me as your child.You make me feel so different from the rest.Maybe kids dont really show how much parents mean to them,but they still do love you.Love you like no others.I swear that,cause im a child too.And kids wont go straight to you and say i love you,they wont.Neither will they say i hate you.I have been holding my tears all this while,you might never see me cry you wont.But that doesnt mean i never do get hurt.I may look happy like nothing happens cause im keeping it all inside.When other parents understand their child i always think of you,why cant you understand me like any other parents do to their young.Why cant you gave me your trust.Who am i to you?I seriously dont wanna bring this thingy up but it hurts.It hurts as much as you cut yourself with a knife.Sometimes i wander why am i still here.I got nothing in common with my other siblings.Im not honest,im not as clever as the rest,im rude,im always at fault,i always had something to be compared to.It all on me.Why?I tried everything,everything.Why cant you let me go out when you gave permission to abang.Why cant you trust me like how you trust abang?Why cant you praise my friends like how you did to abang's.Why cant you talk nicely to me like how you did to abang.Why cant you give me a little just a little bit of freedom when you gave abang full freedom?Why cant you gave me room to grow like how you gave abang.Why cant you encourage me in anything like how you always did to abang.Why cant you stop comparing me to anyone,anyone at all.I try to hide all the pain infront of you my friends my whoever but its too much.Even when i didnt tell my friends,they're the one who's gonna be asking me are you okey.Have you ever ask me that?Dont blame my friends if you're mad at me.They did nothing wrong instead they have been there for me whenever i need someone to talk to.I really feel uncomfortable talking to you when i have problems,i dont know why.You just make me feel like you wont care.I suck i suck :'( I'll try to hold all this inside,dont worry. I love you mom :'(
Thanks qyn,als,farah,musq,yanti,nazatul for being here for me all this while.
I love you guys.
Korang the best uh :D
